Friday, May 27, 2011

HOLLYWOOD EXOTICA


Hollywood has it's share of exotica, indeed, as an example this flower. Crazy big, kinda of sexy, or just plain gross ( wait, I just described my agent ).     



 This eccentric flower vine is growing in my neighbor's garden. If you know the name of this species please let us know. We and all the neighbors have several names for it, which of course I can't repeat.

  
Before we can enter the flower in the garden club competition we need the proper name, not the pornographic names we keep coming up with.


I starts by looking like this, but smaller ( I can hear you laughing ).

And then it opens to a full two feet long by one foot wide ( my agent's mouth when he talks )



 You can't fool me, I know what thinking.


 The front, varicose veins and all.


The back, cellulite and all.
Oh and did I say, it smells like heaven ( the flower, not my agent ).

PS. If you're wondering why an agent, it's because everyone knows in Hollywood, it takes a agent to get in a garden club.  

24 comments:

Andrew Green said...

I feel confused and dirty having viewed that flower....
Thanks for having thrown me into a moral quandary!

Jane and Lance Hattatt said...

Hello Kevin:
No, we have not seen anything quite like this before nor are we sure we wish to again.

Your final pun is noted! Are you a member?

Linda Starr said...

pipevine; necessary nectar food for pipevine butterfly; see my post about my butterfly visit; only reason I know this one is I just posted about my visit to the butterfly exhibit here.

http://bluestarrgallery.blogspot.com/2011/05/butterfly-inspiration.html

Raina Cox said...

That is WILD. I think the flower needs its own agent.

An Urban Cottage said...

Exotica or Erotica? I'm not sure which is more appropriate.

A Perfect Gray said...

wow!

Gary said...

Kevin,
So nasty and yet at the same time so mesmerizing and as for it’s name I am sure that would be answered as a true conundrum of the garden. – G

Fabiana said...

I think it's gorgeous! I would love to know what the real name of it is. Is it a pipvine? WOW!!

Nita {ModVintageLife} said...

Isn't it's name Seymore? That flower would frighten me. I expected you to say that it smelled terrible. Thank goodness it smells good. I'd be afraid it would eat one of my dogs.

Delphine said...

Did you hear me laughting in Paris ?

Dandy said...

you definitely hear me laughing, while cringing! ha, good one

Michael said...

Ummmm.....is that legal in CA?? I'm pretty sure it violates the decency laws of at least 10 states and one US protectorate.

David Toms said...

Are you sure it is not a triffid?? I have never seen anything like it!

Mark D. Ruffner said...

Kevin, do you have your blog classified for adult content? That's certainly the sexiest plant I've ever seen! All kidding aside, the patterns are beautiful.

Hollywood forever, Kevin said...

I'm glad to know that everyone sees what I see, so it's not just myself and my neighbors with nasty minds.

Thanks Linda for the info. and the name. The Dutchman's pipe vine seems like a odd name, but then again, it's such a odd flower.

So, it's true what my biology teacher said," the flower is the sexual organ of the plant "

Mr. Bluehaunt said...

I have been dying to try to grow one of these......I fear it may be too much of a challenge in my climate. (Picture me dragging the plant into a small bathroom already filled with begonias, rain tree bonsai, giant staghorn ferns, and such for the winter season....)

Midcenturymadam said...

Hmmm, how did I miss this post??? It's right up my alley...no pun intended. And by the way, the word verification is glymen...so that's what I think it should be called...glymen fornicacious!

Pamela Terry and Edward said...

"Feed me, Seymour".

Hellohello baby said...

Mwahahahahaaaaaaa!
Oh. My. Dear. God. Thank you for having humor and vits!
And thank you Mr. Kevin Hollywood for doing me the honor and following my blog. So glad I found the way back to you.

annie said...

I have no comment except to say that when I read this I just had to see what other people were saying...you are very funny Hollywood forever, Kevin.

Jill said...

More like "Hollywood Erotica". Seriously, that's really a flower? I've never seen anything like it. Thank goodness, I don't need an agent to be in my Garden Club. I just had to wait til someone died.

designing wally said...

En-Gorgeous....

I am pretty sure it is in the genus Aristolochia, the Cubans that I know in Florida call it a pelican flower...

I wish I had one.

Stan in NH said...

The plant is called the Dutchman's Pipe, or Dutchman's pipe vine. It's a large genus, Aristolochia, with about 500 species. The one you have is most likely Aristolochia gigantea, since it is the giganitic one!
It's beautiful. I'd love to get some seeds. Save the seeds when the capsules form.
And thanks for following my blog. Welcome.

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